The ono second

There is a period of time defined as the ono second. There is a measureable difference between the actual duration of the ono second and the perceived duration that can be broken down as follows :

1. The point at which you do something stupid
2. The point at which you realize that you have done something stupid
3. The point at which you attempt to stop the conseqences of the stupid action
4. The point at which you realize that you have no chance of reversing your stupid action
5. The point at which the full consequences of action become plain
   

To an observer the sequence progresses rapidly from stage 1 to stage 5 (also called the oshit point)

Here is an example to illustrate the theory. This afternoon I had been extraordinarily busy working on a spreadsheet that had to be tested and distributed for 5:00 pm. At around 4:00 pm I had sent a working version to the contracts manager to test, so I knew I had about twenty minutes or so before the inevitable requests for last minute amendments and changes. I reckoned that I deserved a break so I went to get a glass of squash. I brought it back upstairs and put it on the desk. I turned around to look at something on the monitor and as I turned back again my arm caught the glass and tipped it over.

Ono!

Squash had gone all over the desk, soaked my notepad and a cd, spilt onto the floor and worst of all some had splashed onto my laptop which then made a couple of strangled odd sounding beeps.

Oshit!

I unplugged the laptop and shut it down quickly, and then grabbed a towel from the bathroom to mop up the deluge of squash. It didn't take too long to clear up the worst of it, and then wipe again with a damp cloth to get rid of the sticky residue. I carefully dried off the laptop, plugged it back and pressed the power button.

Nothing.

Ono!

I hadn't backed up my files recently, and especially not the spreadsheet I'd just been working on.

Oshit! Oshit Oshit!

I looked again at the laptop and noticed some squash still under the mouse buttons, so I took the battery out and held it upside down whilst carefully directing the output from the hairdryer into the empty slot. I reassembled everything and tried again. Success on a plate! Just in time for the next set of revisions before five o'clock, and then the 'Walks on water man!' email to make it all worthwhile.