Strange ...

We were walking somewhere in the Scottish Highlands – somewhere near Aviemore perhaps. We were on one of the ski runs, but the snow had melted. My dad had said the best route down was on black run number six, so we followed that. A mangy stray dog started following us – it had no fur on its hind quarters and looked very sorry for itself.

About halfway down the hill we saw a restaurant or a bar or something similar. The dog ran in through the door which was ajar. Inside I sat down at a table with Preston and Chantelle from Big Brother. They had a strange device on the table – a bit like one of those face spas from the old fashioned catalogues, or something that you would put hot water and eucalyptus oil in to relieve a stuffy nose. I read the instructions and found out that it used electro plasma to make alcohol breathable. I put a shot of tequila in the slot at the side and put my face in and inhaled. I remember an extraordinary feeling of light headedness and semi drunkeness being almost instantaneous.

Maybe I should stop melting blue cheese on my noodles ….