Hedgehog pie

It was a restaurant that I had never visited before. A converted farm building, somewhere off the A61, that I had passed many times without a second glance. I felt my mouth watering as I sat down at my table in a corner of the room and waited for my food.

The meal was a large plate, heaped with vegetables and gravy, with a centrepiece of a large pie crust in the shape of a hedgehog. I picked at some of the parsnips before noticing with some horror that the pie crust actually was a hedgehog and it was snuffling its whiskers, and was obviously very much alive.

I went to find the waitress, searching through several empty rooms before finding her and making my complaint. We returned to the dining room where the back wall had disappeared to be replaced by a large tree. The hedgehog was sitting on a branch licking crumbs from his face.

That'll teach me to melt blue cheese on my pizza, read Cute Overload and then have a nap after lunch ...