I have been to the heart of darkness and survived. A hunting trip to Ikea was made bearable by finding a parking space without too much trouble – although I was irked to see a car in the ‘parent and child’ spaces with a couple sat inside tucking into burgers and chips, with no children to be seen. There was also a conspicuously child-unfriendly two-seat sports car parked a few spaces further on. These middle class louts have no sense of social responsibility …
I was given permission to go and browse in the book shop whilst Jan did the initial recce, but then I was summoned to decide between several alternatives for some sort of table thingy to go in the kitchen. The first choice of a breakfast bar to be fixed to the wall was a non-starter because the leg to go with it was out of stock, and when the assistant helpfully unscrewed the one on display, neither of us nor a likely looking bloke in the warehouse could work out how to adjust the length of it. We abandoned that idea and went back to plan A, which was a cheap and cheerful little table that fits nicely in the gap at the end of the work top. Sorted, respect due, and I also bought a cuddly rat to sit on my dashboard and a refreshing cup of Lingonberry juice to quench my thirst. What is a Lingonberry anyway?
Home to sit down, listening to Andrew Collings on the wireless and enjoy the warm breezes blowing through the patio doors. I got the tv trivia quiz right, although I didn’t win the prize, but I was mildly chuffed to have my choice for ideal holiday destination mentioned. I picked Swaledale as the epitome of tranquility in the English countryside:
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