Saturday, April 30, 2005

That Chiminea Moment

t's been a busy week, and a bit stressful too what with rumblings from she-who-must-not-be-named, so I was looking forward to a holiday weekend and a bit of an unwind. The chiminea was lit at about half past seven and we sat outside for a couple of hours, feeding it logs from time to time, enjoying our various drinks with a very acceptable wheat beer for me, and smoking the occasional cigar. The kids came out too, and we all just chattered and joked and generally had a bit of fun.

As the dusk grew deeper, the bats started to appear with their strange angular bodies and drunken flight paths flitting across the sky. The fire died down to glowing embers and it was time to go inside for pizza and more beer. I made the mistake of opening a second bottle of wheat beer and I zonked out sometime around eleven o'clock, waking up at one with a random Keanu Reeves movie still playing on the tv. I staggered up to bed, leaving the cats in for a change so that Frank would have a chance to stalk the mouse that he had brought in earlier and then lost in the dining room.

I woke up a few hours later with a raging thirst that was only quenched by a can of cola from downstairs, and then I played Zoo Keeper time attack mode for an hour listening to a soft rain pattering down outside before nodding off again, only to be woken by the alarm at twenty past six because I had forgotten to switch it off. Doh!

Frank had done his job and presented us with a headless mouse on the mat in the hallway, and Barney the dog was ready for his walkies in the soft rain.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Blossom


116-1666_IMG
Originally uploaded by neilh.
Blossom on the trees outside school

Even more bluebells


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Originally uploaded by neilh.
This is the view from the edge of the woods looking out over the bottom field - the cows were up at the top pasture today.

Even more bluebells


116-1661_IMG
Originally uploaded by neilh.

A walk to school


116-1657_IMG
Originally uploaded by neilh.
The bluebells are in full flower in the woods at the moment - best appreciated on a sunny day like today.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Bits and pieces

That took a while. For nearly two weeks I've been spotting the numbers 881 - 886, 288, 388 and not forgetting several 89s, a 90 and a 91. Still, I've kept the faith and my patience has been rewarded with an 88 in the car park of the Leeds office today, perched jauntily on a little black sports car. In other news I've finally been given my router so I can connect to my work system - I ordered it in January, so they've not exactly exerted themselves sorting this one out. It's supposedly plug and play, but I'll reserve judgement on that until I've plugged it in and played with it.

Yesterday was fun. It was spitting with rain when I set off to Tescos to browse the not very extensive range of sandwiches that are available there. No cheese and tomato, yet again, and by the time I set off back to the office it was persistantly raining and I got soaked. I couldn't see through my specs and I had to get a towel out of the kitchen to dry my hair with.

Last night, we had the first of the little men come to give us a quote for putting some paving slabs in the back garden , and we've got another one coming tonight as well. I have to nod my head and pretend to be knowledgable about different sorts of stone and the pros and cons of curved flower beds. It will be interesting to see what they come up with, and how much it is going to cost ...

Guess-the-google

It's been a while since I found a game as infuriatingly compelling as this one - Guess-the-google just requires you to guess the keyword linking a montage of google search images. Against the clock. In twenty seconds.

My best score is 272 so far ... :-)

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Musical meme





Your Taste in Music:


80's Alternative: Highest Influence
80's Pop: Medium Influence
80's Rock: Medium Influence
Progressive Rock: Medium Influence
Punk: Medium Influence
80's R&B: Low Influence
Classic Rock: Low Influence
Dance: Low Influence
Hair Bands: Low Influence
Old School Hip Hop: Low Influence
Ska: Low Influence



Bit of a limited selection on there, particularly on the punk and dance options which probably should have been a bit higher for me.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

She can see clearly now

Saturday morning and time for a shave and a haircut. I'm the opposite of Samson - once my hair has been shorn to the requisite number two cut and half a week's stubble scraped from my chin I felt invigorated and ready to face the world. The world in this case being the delights of Meadowhell and an eye test for Miss Dogwood at Vision Express which turned out to be more like Vision Connex South Central as the whole process took nearly two hours with sitting and waiting, filling out forms, two different sorts of tests, choosing some new frames, trying to decipher the opticians scrawl on the prescription slip, working out how much discount applied to complex lenses, agreeing to join the loyalty card scheme simply to shut the sales assistant up, trying to pay with the debit card machine before finally giving up and going to the cash machine instead. Phreow.

After spending money on essentials, it was time to go and visit Game to spend some money on, well, also essential items ... :-) This turned out to be a wireless xbox pad for me - a fantastic little device that makes a world of difference to the feel of lying back on the sofa to play games - and Lego Starwars for Master Dogwood. No, really, it's for him and not for me at all, no siree.

Lego Starwars is simply excellent. It's Lego! It's Star Wars! At the same time! It's designed to be easy to pick up and play, with characters and levels from the first three prequel films. There are lots of hidden characters to unlock and the central hub area soon fills up with tiny lego star wars characters wandering around and interacting with each other. It's not unusual to see a lego Darth Maul picking a fight with a lego Obi Wan, whilst you concentrate on the serious business of blowing Jar Jar Bloody Binks into his component lego blocks. Did I mention that it's multiplayer as well? Just plug another controller in, and join in at any time. Pure gaming fun.

Friday, April 22, 2005

A Productive Day

I started with something I've been putting off for ages, namely giving the dog a bath. He has been a little, shall we say fragrant recently, but he trotted upstairs without complaining and endured the shampoo before running outside to shake and dry off. After that I wiped the floors and put some washing on, before getting my first caffeine fix of the day and settling down to some work.

The first call was to tell me that the users were locked out of our time management software with a message about reregistering the database. I emailed the software house for a key, and told them that for some reason it was showing as us having used 6300% of our resource licence allocation. Shome mishtake shurely? The fix arrived and it was easier to paste it straight into the table than running the script that they had sent me.

Next, I have to think about documenting the year end procedure on the asset register system which should be straightforward, and then find a way to transfer some of the spreadsheets that the contract management bods use into a sql table so that they can all update them if necessary. It's only a stop gap until we get the new system up and running in the next six months, but it should be a useful data collection exercise.

Lunchtime, and the second procrastinated job. I went out and bought a new lawn mower - a slightly better model than the last one that we had that happened to be on special offer at B&Q - and this one has a handy doohicky for winding up the cable when you have finished too. Reading the instructions it recommends mowing the lawn twice a week during the growing season. Dream on, Mr Flymo instruction writing dude. It will get mowed when I feel like it and when the sun is out - the chances of the two occurring simultaneously more than once a month being fairly remote I would have thought.

Seeing as it was all quiet on the work front, I walked to school with the dog to pick Master Dogwood up. It's dry enough in the field at the moment to take the shortcut, and it doesn't take all that much longer than going in the car.

Right, incoming work, so I'd better post this and get on with it.

Frost on grass


Frost on grass
Originally uploaded by neilh.
Frost on the grass in the field this morning.

More Bluebells


More Bluebells
Originally uploaded by neilh.
The bluebells are out in the woods - huzzah!

Comfy Cat


Comfy Cat
Originally uploaded by neilh.
I stripped the bed this morning to wash the sheets while the sun was out and Biddy made herself comfy while I was putting the washing machine on.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

More politics

Courtesy of Boris this is another political quiz that compares your answers to a national survey so you can see how you compare to the population as a whole, and to various groups and regions.

I was not entirely surprised to find that I am more left wing than 99.8% of Sun readers, although there is a confused Daily Express reader somewhere who is more left wing than me.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Never use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice

The English Teacher
You are 100% Verbose! Although you get bonus points just for finishing.

Okay, obviously you know a little too much about the English langauge.
Do you wear a sweater vest, bemoan high school students' inability to
write, and just generally act like a egotistical prick? If you said yes
to one of the three, you might be an English teacher. In which case, it
was unfair of you to take this test. (If you aren't an English teacher,
maybe you should stop reading the thesaurus for sport.)



My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 28% on Verbosity
Link: The Adjective Thesaurus Test written by mahte on Ok Cupid

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Swords and ice magic

Last night I fell in love.

A rapier with an epee blade, Papenheimer hilt and a carved wooden grip - superbly balanced and as fast as lightning. In the words of Andy from Little Britain - "I want *that* one!". We also know that our Scholar's assesments are going to be in August, which seems a way off, but is only three workshop sessions away. I veer from feeling confident to complete panic when called on to demonstrate attack six from that verdammtes eight position parry sequence. Still, it will come with more practice and now that the weather is more clement I can start using the pergola for target practice. Still need to get a lawnmower, circular tuit permitting ...

There was ice on the grass this morning, and a stunning blue sky as the sun rose above the woods. Even though I felt tired it kick started my brain nicely. I've been toying with ideas for Jan to illustrate, and one of them involves the woods where I walk twice a day. The bluebells are just starting to peek through now, and in a week or so they will be in full bloom - a riot of purple dappled with sunlight. I really must start taking my camera with me as a matter of course to capture the moment.

What else? Leeds today, and a walk into town shortly for my usual sushi and browse around the shops. It struck me this morning that I've not seen any political posters this election - not the giant billboard adverts, but the ones that people stick in their windows. We've only had one leaflet from the Lib Dems so far - I suppose the others simply aren't bothering, and they wonder why people are apathetic if the activists can't even be bothered.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Mercenaries

General Chang, the Ace of Diamonds. This contract was worth a cool quarter of a million dollars, too much to pass up, and besides I was on a roll. The Allies air dropped me into the LZ - a small island off the NK peninsular - where a large artillery piece was lobbing depleted uranium shells 50 klicks inland. The area was swarming with NK gooks and I could have slugged it out, but I called in a favour from Sergei - my Mafia contact - a got a nice civilian 4x4 air lifted in and drove right past them.

It was a case of taking it slowly on the road, avoiding any officers and flooring it through any hot zones where my geiger counter started ticking a little bit too much for comfort. Destroying the supergun was a cinch - Fiona, my Ex-Ops handler, had given me some intel on another artillery piece overlooking the first gun. Just one tank to deal with en route, and then lob a couple of rounds into the site to leave a smoking, radioactive crater.

The com channel then went ballistic. The Ace was bugging out, but my wheels were still intact so I dropped down the side of the hill I was on and round the back of the compound I had passed earlier. No time for finesse or subtlety with this one, so I shot the gates and slammed into the side of a T-54 tank before it could bring its main gun to bear on me. Cap the gunner and then jack the tank, deal with any gooks with RPGs or anti-tank weapons first and then drive round the compound to deal with any other tanks standing guard.

At last I caught sight of my target. I could have called in an airstrike, but he was worth far more to me alive than dead. I ditched the tank and finished off the guards swarming out of the barracks with a couple of grenades. I ran for the Ace, throwing a flash grenade on the way, and cuffing him before he could react. Out the back of the compound and call for extraction asap.

The money was in the Ex-Ops account before we'd even dusted off ... modern banking does have its advantages.

Friday, April 15, 2005

What D&D character are you?

I Am A: Chaotic Neutral GnomeThief Ranger


Alignment:
Chaotic Neutral characters are unstable, and frequently insane. They believe in disorder first and foremost, and will thus strive for that disorder in everything they do. This means that they will do whatever seems 'fun' or 'novel' at any given time.


Race:
Gnomes are also short, like dwarves, but much skinnier. They have no beards, and are very inclined towards technology, although they have been known to dabble in magic, too. They tend to be fun-loving and fond of jokes and humor. Some gnomes live underground, and some live in cities and villages. They are very tolerant of other races, and are generally well-liked, though occasionally considered frivolous.


Primary Class:
Thieves are the most roguish of the classes. They are sneaky and nimble-fingered, and have skills with traps and locks. While not all use these skills for burglary, that is a common occupation of this class.


Secondary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.


Deity:
Callarduran Smoothhands is the True Neutral gnomish god of stone, the underground, and mining. He is also known as the Deep Brother and the Master of Stone. His followers enjoy mining - especially for rubies. Their favorite weapon is the battleaxe.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)

Thursday, April 14, 2005

H2G2

Oh dear.

I've been looking forward to this film for umpty-tum years and it sounds like it's going to be really disappointing according to these reviews from MJ Simpson and Emma Kennedys.

However this sounds much better ...

Who should you vote for?

Who Should You Vote For?

Who should I vote for?

Your expected outcome:

Liberal Democrat


Your actual outcome:



Labour -28
Conservative -69
Liberal Democrat 100
UK Independence Party -16
Green 43


You should vote: Liberal Democrat

The LibDems take a strong stand against tax cuts and a strong one in favour of public services: they would make long-term residential care for the elderly free across the UK, and scrap university tuition fees. They are in favour of a ban on smoking in public places, but would relax laws on cannabis. They propose to change vehicle taxation to be based on usage rather than ownership.

Take the test at Who Should You Vote For

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Those whom the gods wish to destroy, they first irritate slightly

I'm feeling vexed.

It feels like the universe is conspiring against me and my dander is on the verge of being up. It's a combination of little things, one on top of the other, really. It started the other week with the lawn mower coming out of its winter hibernation and failing to start. It's just the switch that's not working - there are a couple of little springs attached to the cut off circuit breaker that aren't working properly, and taking it apart and remolishing it only allowed to splutter into a brief moment of life, just enough to make me think I had been pretty clever, before conking out again in response to my hubris. Similarly, the water pipe into the dishwasher had been dripping for ages, soaking the shelves of the adjacent cupboard and warping the whole structure enough to make the door of the dishwasher hard to close.

Yesterday I was in Birmingham for a web conference with the merkins, which should have been easy to set up and run. We went through three speaker phones before we found one that was working properly, and we didn't start the meeting until after four o'clock our time. If there's one thing worse than sitting through power point slides in a meeting, it's sitting through power point slides being shown over the internet with no way of interrupting the speaker to tell him to get on with the stuff that you actually do want to see.

I didn't get home until after seven, but already there was a problem with the server upstairs not seeing the network for some reason, and then we noticed that the shower door had been broken by person, or persons (or baby elephants) unknown. There's a little plastic hinge at the top where the door swivels that has snapped - I tried glueing it, but I'm not confident it will hold. What's the betting that the whole door will need replacing for the sake of a plastic doobry that should cost a fraction of a penny?

This morning, the traffic was murder - crawling for about twelve miles from Wooley Edge, all the way into Leeds, effectively doubling the journey time to over an hour. Oh, and we've got another web conference this afternoon, running from two locations this time for added fun and jollity. Still, at least I got an 87 this morning, so things are not *all* bad ... :-)

~Time passes, Thorin sits down and sings about gold~

Or, on the other hand maybe it is. I was set up and ready to go at two o'clock, but the techy at the other office had forgotten all about it, and wasted half an hour trying to get things working through the video conferencing pc rather than just plugging in the laptop we used yesterday. In the end I just had to say "Go and get the laptop, plug it in and go to this website". When we finally got through, one of the merkin delegates had had to reschedule so we couldn't have the meeting today anyway.

Universe 1, yours truly nil.

Monday, April 11, 2005

In Dreams

I had the strangest, and most exhausting, anxiety dream the other morning. I woke up early and then drifted back off to sleep. In my dream the american project manager that we met the other week (the one that looked like the president from Battlestar Galactica) turned up on our doorstep unexpectedly, asking to stay for a few days. She had her family with her too, all packed into an enormous Hummer that took up the entire driveway. The family seemed to consist of five hyperactive children, two curmudgeonly grandparents, a couple of pitbull terriers and a husband (who looked a bit like the actor who played the Devil on Jerry Springer : The Opera).

I was rushing through the house, trying to organise beds and tidy up at the same time, stopping one of the children from climbing up into the attic and preparing a plate of sandwiches and tea for them all ("How quaint!", I think the comment was).

It was around this stage I realised that I wasn't wearing any trousers ...

You don't think that perhaps I might be worrying about choosing this new sales order processing system at work, by any chance?

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Perfect day

To start with, a walk in the woods, icy cold but brilliant blue skies. A nice cup of tea and a bit of surfing time in bed, followed by a bit of multiplayer nintendo ds zookeeper, super mario and metroid hunters. Then six hours of fencing where, despite being promised no new material, we actually seemed to cover a lot of ground in different ways with lots of practice of that pesky ol' eight position parry sequence. The evening to conclude with Doctor Who and a fabulous super hot chilli with rice and petit pains, and a glass of beer, before conking out half way through "Vanilla Skies".

In your heroin addled face, Lou Reeds!

Friday, April 08, 2005

April Showers

We were sat out in the garden last weekend, and now it's 3 degrees outside and snowing. What on earth is happening to the weather?

Here is a party political broadcast on behalf of me

Seeing as how the various political parties have given us a day off today for the pope's funeral, I thought that I would weigh in with my two-penny-worth for a brief moment with my thoughts on the forthcoming election. The choices as I see them are :

  • Tories - Don't make me laugh. Their leader is one of the prime movers in the last conservative government that gave us such delights as the poll tax, two economic recessions and unsustainable housing boom. Have they changed much? Somehow I doubt it.
  • Labour - No thank you. Whilst we've had some economic stability, we've also seen a worrying rise in authoritarian policies with ID cards being the prime example of a stupid, ineffective, expensive policy being persued for ideological reasons. Oh, and lets not talk about the war, eh?
  • Lib Dems - meh. Their policies are largely a reaction to the excesses of the labour party, but at least they do seem to be a bit more open and accountable to the electorate with Richard Allan being a good example.
I guess what I'd like to see is a hung parliament (insert own joke here), with the Lib Dems getting enough of the vote to hold the balance of power, Tony Blair being given a severe kicking and the Tories splintering into an extremist fringe leaving the solid one-nation types (with Boris for leader) to rebuild themselves in the center ground. Let's have a parliament with a bit more accountability and some real debates rather than the hollow talking shop for rubber stamping government policy that it has become.

So, not because I think they would make a particularly good government, but because I think they are the best way of shaking up the system in the medium to long term, this time I think :

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

What is the point? I mean, really, when you get down to it, what is the point?

One of the recurring jobs here is installing the accounts software. It's not particularly difficult, but it's fussy about data sources being set up correctly. I've written a set of notes with a step by step guide and screen shots and everything, and given it to the technical support people here for whenever they need to set up a new pc.The junior Dilbert here nabbed me as I was about to start something and said "I've never seen this error before" which was coming up when he tried to activate the accounts query addin in excel.

It took me twenty minutes of uninstalling things and poking around before I realised that he had set the name for the data source incorrectly, and the first time the configuration routine was run it tried to create a user data source (rather than a system data source) with the (incorrect) default settings. The most irritating thing was that he actually had the installation guide in his hand, but he didn't actually follow it.

Another example is one of the accounts people whose job it is to create invoice batches and post them into the accounts. Most of the time it goes through with no problems, but sometimes it picks up an error and creates an error report. I explained to him, in detail, last Friday that if the journal didn't post he had to look at the error report and find the line in error - it's usually a missing account code on a new contract, and the error report helpfully underlines the missing code for you. All he has to do is put the correct code on, recreate the batch and repost it. It takes about two minutes at most.

This morning he sent me an email saying that a batch hadn't posted and could I look at it please. The error was on the second page of the error report, which he hadn't bothered to actually look at before asking me ...

Sometimes the only response is to sigh heavily, count to ten and look forward to the sushi at lunchtime.

I want one ...

of these

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Schadenfreude time!

Ha ha!

squirrel


squirrel
Originally uploaded by neilh.
A rather cheeky squirrel that has just been raiding the bird food on our pergola

This week I have been mostly ...

1. happy? Doctor Who being a really fabulous bit of small screen sf
2. sad? No fencing on Monday Night because the caretaker wasn't at the hall to open up ...
3. excited? ... but a whole afternoon to look forward to today!
4. angry? The ex saying she will take Ms out to the theatre and then ringing up to ask for money to pay for it.
5. proud? Mrs Dogwood's artwork in progress - wonderful stuff
6. disappointed? The saga of Ms Dogwood's bedroom
7. turned on? Just being at home with the Mrs ... ;-)
8. exhausted? Two days work in Brum, followed by a morning of sorting out you know who's room.
9. grateful? For health, wealth and happiness
10. glad to be alive? Walking in the woods on a bright spring morning, seeing squirrels chasing each other in mad spirals round tree trunks, and then coming back to a nice cup of tea in bed with my gorgeous Mrs ... :-)